Seeking Balance
Will I ever feel on top of things? Two nights of interrupted sleep have left me wondering. My recent life, portrayed as a sports commentary, would sound like this: “She’s up! She’s down! She’s up again!”
Truly, most days feel full of fun and adventure and accomplishment. I goof myself up when I think about all the things I want and/or need to do. Hence, the balance question. How to reach a place where I can celebrate crossing items off my list without feeling despair at that list? Everybody has a list, yet mine is taking on monster-like qualities and I feel overwhelmed.
I was taught that working harder and faster would do the trick. You can figure out how well that’s been working (think hamster on a wheel in a cage).
Remember childhood days when you could spend a whole afternoon lying on the warm grass and watching lady bugs, looking for magical creatures in the clouds? I long to feel like that again- expanded, timeless, accepting that the most important thing in the world was what I was doing right now.
The child in me despairs at the demands of being an adult. I’m reaching for a balance between functioning in the real world and having fun while doing it. The child in me wants to feel safe, nurtured; she wants to trust that everything will always work out great.
I can hear you; I’m being unrealistic. Be honest, don’t you secretly want the same? Think of a less stressful life, one with less work and more reward. When I feel clear and centered, my life runs more smoothly with a lot less effort on my part. I find more things to be grateful about and I notice many moments of synchronicity. Challenges become a game, a game that I have control over, and I can see how everybody plays a part just for me. Everything seems to make sense and is done easily.
My latest motto: “Everything that happens to me, happens for me.” Trusting this, I do not feel threatened by current events or by what others want or feel or think. Remembering this, I can let everyone and everything be who or what they are and mind my own business. This is when I am most genuine, most content, most allowing. This is when I have the most to give. It’s also when good things happen.
Ok, so, I feel better. Nothing’s really changed, but I have, so, “Yay, me!” It’s good to remember that I’ve been here before - feeling overwhelmed and unmoored - and that I’ve always come out ok.
Now is the time to keep it simple. Breathe. Do what needs to be done today. Map out tomorrow. Maybe choose the hardest or most important task on the list and do that one first. Celebrate each victory. Call a trusted friend to celebrate with you. Ask your Angels or Guides for help. Slow down and stay alert for that guidance.
My sister Jean gave me a Staples “That Was Easy” button which I punch every time I complete a task (especially the icky ones). Hearing that message makes me smile every time. I repeat the words, mimicking the inflection, just for fun. It makes me feel like a winner. It makes me feel like looking at the next thing on my list.
Wishing you all balance,